Are you one of those guys who just can’t dance to apple-bottom jeans, soulja boy crankin’ and cyclones? When people say, “just follow the beat,” do you resemble someone having a seizure? (Cue Elaine Benes’ dance moves from Seinfeld)

I used to be one of you guys — and I was lucky enough to have some close friends (who mock me) who taught me some basic moves anyway. Forget gettin’ crunk and whatnot, and pop-and-locking — here are a couple of tips for getting your “generic” dance on, so that you may learn the actual moves later.

The key to dancing is symmetry. If you’re a tall, lanky man, then we have a problem. (That’s me!) If you try to dance with people smaller than you, whatever moves you make, you’re bound to look awkward. So instead, form a dance troupe of tall, lanky men. The key is symmetry, so if you do your moves in unison — it won’t matter.

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