Are you one of those guys who just can’t dance to apple-bottom jeans, soulja boy crankin’ and cyclones? When people say, “just follow the beat,” do you resemble someone having a seizure? (Cue Elaine Benes’ dance moves from Seinfeld)

I used to be one of you guys — and I was lucky enough to have some close friends (who mock me) who taught me some basic moves anyway. Forget gettin’ crunk and whatnot, and pop-and-locking — here are a couple of tips for getting your “generic” dance on, so that you may learn the actual moves later.

The key to dancing is symmetry. If you’re a tall, lanky man, then we have a problem. (That’s me!) If you try to dance with people smaller than you, whatever moves you make, you’re bound to look awkward. So instead, form a dance troupe of tall, lanky men. The key is symmetry, so if you do your moves in unison — it won’t matter.

Don’t look at people. Notice how dancers look so engaged in what they’re doing? They’re not really looking at the eyes of the audience. They’re there to be seen, not to see. (Plus, if you don’t know the moves, it’ll look like you do.) Wear blinders — like cover your eyes with a hood, shades or the tip of a fedora. That’ll look fly.

The snap dance. Ever notice how most of the popular hiphop dance hits are from the South? Listen. Listen very, very closely — they all have the same beat. One-two-drum, one-two-snap. A snap dance is a filler move that works with that beat.

Like the move in “Crank dat” – one-punch forward with right hand, two-punch forward with left hand, snap-lean to either left or right, tilting or twisting your head as you dance. Say, a different South song plays? Replace the punches with a steering motion, like with a steering wheel, then bend your body. Simple.

The footwork. People don’t mind the torso movement as much as the footwork. Make use of the heel and toe parts of your feet — look bouncy, and your body will follow.

Mix it up. So you have the basic snap + foot moves. As the songs change, mix ‘em up. Add spins to your moves, hand gestures, salsa moves and whatnot. Change up from the normal steps and you’ll stand out.

Practice, practice, practice. If your movements are too stiff, this’ll be remedied by warm-ups. You’ll look horrible at first, but then you’ll start looking really good. Hit up Facebook ads for dance lesson postings and join ‘em. They’ll save you. Watching a dance video is worlds apart from watching an instructional one.

As I’ve just experienced first hand, dancing is an awesome experience. Hopefully my tips’ll help you not become that guy in the bar just standing, trying to look cool.